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Good Grief

Two years ago, the members of my inaugural group coaching cohort, The Soul Tribe, were all deep into the work of designing lives that they loved. They were planning career transitions and weddings, preparing for motherhood or empty nests, writing and releasing books, and starting or building businesses. In the midst of all of the excitement, I wondered, and even asked some of them individually, “What is your self-care plan for all of this amazing growth and change?” I asked this question because we often only associate stress with negative experiences, but it is present and just as prevalent in our positive life changes as well. When we aren’t aware of this, it can hit us hard in unexpected ways. This happened to me on Thanksgiving Day. I’ve always dreamed of having a lavish home with a loving partner. One who has a beautiful family with whom I can enjoy the holidays and make lasting memories. What I didn’t anticipate was how the realization of this dream might shift existing traditions that I may have taken for granted up to this point. Instead of the joy that I anticipated, I felt a deep sadness and a high level of anxiety that I couldn’t shake. Why wasn’t I happy? Isn’t this what I always hoped and dreamed for? It didn’t hit me until the next day that this was the first year ever that I didn’t spend Thanksgiving with my own immediate family. Of course, COVID and other factors played a role in the way things turned out, but in the midst of what should have been a joyous occasion, I felt deep grief. As I support my clients, I encourage them to be aware that while achieving your goals may be exhilarating, they come with change, which can feel scary and uncomfortable. As we gain something great, we may simultaneously experience loss. For this reason, space must be made to feel our feelings free from judgment or shame. We often deny our feelings or treat ourselves harshly believing that we must only experience gratitude and nothing more because we have finally received what we’ve always wanted. Here are a few strategies to consider as you navigate good grief. Acknowledgment. On a fresh page of your journal with your favorite juicy pen, I invite you to free flow write whatever comes up for you when I ask you to finish this sentence… “I am grieving the loss of…” Remember, we often only associate grief with undesirable things, but you could be grieving in sensational situations just the same. Acceptance. There is no need to force or rush this, but this is the final stage of grief. Ease your way into this in your own time and at your own pace. If we are not open to accepting our new way of life, we may find ourselves slipping into old patterns of self-sabotage, because even if our previous circumstance was chaotic, it may still feel more comfortable than our new state of being. Celebration. You did it! You made it to this place that was once only a goal or a dream. Take a moment to sit, savor, and celebrate how far you’ve come. This may look like returning to your journal and finishing the sentence… “I am so grateful for…” It may also mean literally having a cyber celebration or safe ceremony with those whom you are sheltered in place with. This week I challenge you to reveal what’s really holding you back and deal with it by giving it space and room to breathe, which will set you up for the healing that your heart needs and deserves. Manifestation Affirmations I am allowing space for good grief. I am celebrating who I am becoming. I am healing my heart.

Master Your Mindset to Manifest a Life You Love. Most Sincerely, Monica Marie Jones Your Soul Journey Guide

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