Chaos used to be my comfort zone.
Years ago I walked into an event and was excited to see a young woman who I knew there. We'd met and connected previously because she was inspired by a speech that I gave at an event at the university that I attended for undergrad.
Imagine my surprise when my warm smile was met with her cold glare. What had happened? Had I done something wrong? I thought we were on great terms. I had no clue as to the origin of her ire.
Later I reached out to her to ask if I'd done something to offend or upset her.
She reminded me that I'd committed to writing the foreword for a book that she was publishing and I had never delivered on my promise.
She was right and I felt like crap.
I was the perfect storm of being unorganized and overcommitted. Being late or forgetting things all together made my integrity look and feel like trash. I made commitments beyond my capacity and thus left people who I cared for in my dust of disappointments. So after taking a ten-week course on integrity, I hurled the pendulum-like a shot put ball all the way to the other extreme. I began saying 'yes' less and I ramped up my planning and organizing skills tenfold...so much so that it blocked my flow.
Flow is a term used in positive psychology that describes what happens when we are fully immersed in the moment. It’s that feeling you get when you are doing something that you love so much that you lose all track of time. I no longer allowed myself such a luxury as punishment for my poor past performance, but that caused me and others harm in a different way. Going too hard with the planning and goal setting often left me stranded at the intersection of anxiety and mental fatigue.
I prefer not to use the term balance because that would mean each end of the spectrum would only get 50%. Instead, I’m working toward finding the harmony in my flow.
Here are some strategies that I not only suggest, but will also practice right alongside you.
Live Your Lyrics. For the most part, I find myself walking the talk of my approach because it’s really important to me to model that for my clients and anyone else in my care. But I must admit, sometimes I write messages and share posts because I’m talking to myself. It’s easy to offer advice and spread inspiration, but the best way to make the highest impact for yourself and others is to be the personification of the self-love that you suggest.
Let The Beat Drop. Booty shaking music is my jam! There are few things that I delight in more than a fine twerk session. I love to hit the dance floor and bust a move from the beginning to the end of a string of good songs with no breaks in between. As exhilarating as this is in the moment, it leaves me feeling achy, out of breath, and often takes me out of the game for quite some time. What I might do instead to sustain some energy and the well-being of these 42-year-old knees is to do a calm and collected two-step then let loose once the beat drops. Even music takes moments to wind down and then amp back up on the chorus before taking a beautiful break between crescendos again. That too is how we must work to find health and harmony.
Freestyle in the Cypher. I’ve always admired improv actors and freestyle MCs. They allow the energy of the audience or the circle around them to fuel their flow. In an attempt to avoid a return to my scatterbrained days, spontaneity has become my enemy. This has caused me to become so rigid at times that when things don't go exactly as planned, or surprises arise without advanced notice, like a dry and brittle branch, I break. The way this makes me and those around me feel is just as painful as the other extreme. Let's allow our souls to lead us from time to time, and we may just find ourselves at an even more delightful destination than we could have ever planned for.
This week I invite you to join me on this journey to find your rhythm and harmony in your flow. What you create as a result may be the very thing you’ve been searching for all along. Manifestation Affirmations I am surrendering to my flow. I am living in the light of my lyrics. I am free to be me in my circle of support.
Master Your Mindset to Manifest a Life You Love. Most Sincerely, Monica Marie Jones Your Soul Journey Guide