During a recent couple’s therapy session, our doctor read us an excerpt from the book, The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself. The passage invited us to imagine having a thorn in our arm that is in direct contact with a nerve. Whenever anyone or anything touches that thorn, it causes us extreme pain. As a result, we have one or two choices; we can try to make sure nothing touches it, or we can take it out.
She had us think about how this message related to our relationship. For me, it connected to a very important decision I made that changed my life for the better.
When my father’s personal journey sent him on a path that diverged from our family, I was pierced by my thorn. It lodged deeply near the network of nerves that serve my heart. Anytime anyone got too close, I pushed them away because it activated the pain.
In my current relationship, this man has continued to embrace me firmly and consistently, no matter how much I writhe or try to pull away. His relentless love led me to investigate my thorn, because I was tired of living with this incessant ache.
After years of emotional excavation, I was able to identify that my thorn was rooted in resentment. After doing the delicate work to remove it, my relationships with my partner and my father were transformed.
What is the root cause of your thorn?
Here are three of the strategies I used to identify and remove my thorn forever.
Radical Acceptance. Release the heavy burden of expectation and accept people and situations for who and what they are as they are. You don’t have to agree with or reward harmful behavior, but continuing to resist or reject what is, will only cause you undue stress.
Take Responsibility. You can only change you. What role do you play in your experience? Focus on creating your desired conditions based on what is within your control.
Turn-Around. Imagine there is an overflowing trash dumpster before you and a breathtaking ocean sunset behind you. Instead of continuing to stare at and complain about the garbage, shift your focus to the things that are beautiful about the person, situation, or your life.
This week I challenge you to begin the work of removing the thorn. Identify strategies that work for you and free yourself from the pain and weight of whatever has been holding you back.
Manifestation Affirmations
I am liberated by accepting what I cannot change.
I am shifting my focus toward beauty and light.
I am responsible for the role I play in my experience of life.
Master Your Mind + Master Your Body + Master Your Money = Manifest a Life You Love Most Sincerely, Monica Marie Jones Your Soul Journey Guide
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