Monica Marie Jones
The Behavior of Becoming
Last week I facilitated a group coaching session in my community called Design Your Year. As we neared the end of the session, I led an activity called Manifestation Declarations to help us plan for how we would implement what we learned. Instead of traditional goals or resolutions, we focused on who we want to become or become more of, and what the behaviors or habits of that person might be. The idea behind this is that even if we aren’t precisely where we want to be, many of the actions of our future selves are available to us right now. For example, if someone had a desire to become a runner, they would brainstorm answers to the question, “What would a runner be doing right now?” In this exploration they might come up with things like, drink more water, stretch daily, or breathe more deeply to expand lung capacity. Before we took this deep dive into exploring our desired ways of being, we warmed up by leveraging the experience and expertise of the group. This gave a few of the participants the option to share who they were working towards becoming with the full group to get more ideas. One participant shared their desire to become a professional, like a coach, who focuses on helping women. Instead of typical suggestions like, “A coach would be enrolled in a certification program,” the group recommended things like, “Focus on your own healing first.” I was deeply inspired by this because the most impactful work I’ve done in preparation to become a coach was the time I invested in attending to my own healing, mental health, personal growth, and inner work. As you contemplate the behaviors of who you want to become, or become more of, here are a few strategies to support your exploration. Reframe Resolutions. Let’s say your resolution is to give up sugar. You may want to stop because of the known adverse effects on your health, but if you really love sweet treats, having to stop something that delights you may feel restrictive and unpleasant. What if you switched the focus from what you can’t do or have, to alternative ways to experience the rewards or feelings that the undesired behavior provided? In being more mindful of my relationship with sugar, I noticed that I tend to crave and eat sweets only when I’m tired. In this instance the reframed resolution could be around my sleep habits. So, my behaviors might include the following action steps: 1. Set an alert on my Fitbit watch to remind me to begin winding down for bed at 9:30pm. 2. Use the bedtime feature on the clock app on my phone to remind me that it’s bedtime at 10:30pm which then automatically puts my phone on 'do not disturb' until my scheduled wake up time. 3. Adjust my wake-up time within the bedtime feature on my phone to make sure I get a minimum of 7.5 hours of sleep. Accessible Actions. Once you’ve identified the behaviors of the person you want to become, focus on the ones that are accessible to you now. What conversations would you be having and with whom? What books would you be reading? What podcasts might you be listening to? Come up with several options to choose from that don’t cost any money, only the investment of your time and energy. Dig Deep. Stretch yourself to think beyond just the simple and surface activities that are unique to the person you are becoming. What are some of the less obvious prerequisites or practices that will bring you nearer to that next version of you? It may mean increasing skills or characteristics like empathy, consistency, belonging, or trust. This week I challenge you to engage in the behaviors of who you are becoming as if that desired way of being is already your reality. Enjoy the manifestation magic that ensues as you focus on becoming your best self now. Manifestation Affirmations I am manifesting my desired reality by practicing the behaviors of who I want to become right now. I am reframing my resolutions by focusing on what I want to create instead of what I hate. I am becoming my best self.
Master Your Mindset to Manifest a Life You Love. Most Sincerely, Monica Marie Jones Your Soul Journey Guide