Monica Marie Jones
The Confidence Code
Think back to a time when you felt supreme confidence. What were the conditions that made it so? I ask my clients this question when they set an intention to increase their confidence as a part of the work we do together on their coaching journeys. As they share, I listen for key words, phrases, or practices that I hear in their answers. I then repeat what I heard back to them and propose that these are the things that make up their confidence code. This is something they can remember or return to when they are faced with a new role, responsibility, or season in their life where they are feeling uncertain or unsure. If I thought about my answer to the question, it would be when I facilitate group coaching events for the community at The Cochrane House Luxury Historic Inn in Detroit. The conditions that make it so include showing up as my whole authentic self, feeling humbled by the fact that I get to use my true gifts and talents do such rewarding work, and honoring my word by being someone who people can trust to show up, and if I can’t, making sure to communicate my need to change or cancel my commitments. The intersection of these three components (authenticity, humility, and integrity) are what make up my confidence code. What are the components of your confidence code? Here are some strategies to support you as you think it through. Power Pose. In her book, Successful Women Speak Differently, Valorie Burton talks about how our posture can positively impact how we feel. She asserts that standing or sitting in high power poses where we take up more space builds feelings of confidence, optimism, and willingness to take risks. It also sends signals to our brains that create a more powerful feeling which leads to the likelihood of more powerful attitudes and actions. My favorite power pose is what she calls The Superhero. This is where you stand with your feet shoulder width apart, your hands on your hips, and your elbows out. What is your power pose? Confidence Co-Conspirator. Sometimes we forget our awesomeness and it takes someone else to help us see ourselves more clearly. This could be a professional like a coach or counselor, but it might also be a trusted friend or loved one who reminds you how far you’ve come when you are feeling uncertain or being hard on yourself. Who are your confidence co-conspirators? Capacity Cultivation. Occasionally I am offered an opportunity that stretches me immensely both professionally and mentally. Instead of wasting time and energy freaking out and asking, “Why me?”, I take a deep dive into research and participate in professional development experiences that help me to learn everything there is to know about the task I’ve taken on. Not only does this help me to deliver on the current project in a high-quality way, it also gives me inspiration, ideas, tools, and skills that I can use to create new offerings, and for future projects and opportunities. How might you cultivate your capacity to increase your confidence? This week I challenge you to tap into your prior knowledge and experiences to help you find your formula for increased confidence. Use what you discover to create your personal and professional confidence code. Manifestation Affirmations I am embodying confidence by practicing high power postures and poses that take up space. I am identifying my confidence co-conspirators who help me to see myself more clearly. I am cultivating my capacity to increase my confidence.