Updated: Feb 16, 2022
Last week, emotions were particularly high and heavy for a myriad of reasons. During this time, I was honored to support several clients each day through online video coaching sessions. I listened actively and empathetically as each person experienced a range of emotions. As much as I tried to build a forcefield between myself and everything that was going on in the world, I also experienced spikes in my own emotions throughout the week.
By Thursday evening, like a tightly sealed vessel holding too much steam with no opening to release it, all of the space and emotion that I had been holding for others burst out of me uncontrollably. It manifested as multiple crying spells and misdirected arguments. Finally, after sitting in my sacred space to cry, breathe, pray, and write in my journal, I realized the true reason behind my emotional explosion.
This taught me an important lesson. I’d learned this lesson a few times before, but this time it really stuck. When we are in any position where we support others emotionally, we are a container. We hold open space for them so they can feel the fullness of their feelings. The problem is that the capacity of this container is not infinite. It must be attended to, otherwise, it could end up causing us undue harm.
As parents, teachers, coaches, health care professionals, spouses or any of the other supporting roles that we permanently play in our lives, it is important that we do a few things to make sure our container does not overfill and ultimately spill.
Empty the Container. At the end of each night, or even at the end of each intense encounter, do something to release the things you’ve been holding. Take a shower or a walk in nature. Practice deep breathing. Write in your journal, or engage in any other practice you can think of that clears your mind, heart, and soul.
Close the Container. We don’t always have to be available for everyone all of the time. This may mean taking a break from your phone and all of the communication pathways that it connects you to, such as social media, where you can’t control, but are often subject to whatever anyone posts on your timeline.
Find a Container. Last year, I was leading a training where an incident caused a string of emotions to tear through the audience like wildfire. I spent hours trying to coach and manage the emotions of many while keeping the training going for everyone else. During a phone call on the ride home, a dear friend brought to my attention that I am always the container for everyone else, and said that at that moment, she would be the container for me.
This week I challenge you to consider the capacity of your container. It is a beautiful and sacred gift to be able to hold space for others, but be mindful of how much space you have, and consider, who is holding space for you? Check the level on your container and adjust its contents accordingly.
I am supported.
I am giving myself space to process my own emotions.
I am a valuable vessel that requires constant care.
Master Your Mind + Master Your Body + Master Your Money = Manifest a Life You Love Most Sincerely, Monica Marie Jones Your Soul Journey Guide