Over the last few months, I’ve been going down a memoir reading rabbit hole. In the latest one the author talks about learning an important lesson about the difference between being pushed and pulled. As the year winds down, I invite you to reflect on your current activities and commitments. When you think about the state of your personal and professional life, what are the things that you’ve been pushed to do by others? How much of what you are doing is because you felt an undeniable pull on your heart and soul that drew you to it?
Here are some strategies to support you as you assess where you are and decide where you want to go from here.
The Destined Door. Most doors are designed to be pushed or pulled before you can gain entry to where you are trying to go. No matter how hard you try, if you push on a door that is meant to be pulled, your access will be denied. What projects, work, or relationships are you trying to force? What path, direction, or decision is someone else trying to force you into? You will know that you are opening the door that is meant for you when you feel that pull. What is that thing that has been pulling on your heart strings? Perhaps that is where the feelings or answers you’ve been seeking reside.
Peace Pull Place. Picture a time when you were in a welcoming environment where you were deeply immersed in activities that felt magically aligned. You were surrounded by your people, and you felt a sense of being engaged in what you were born to do. Take note of the characteristics and conditions that made this experience so marvelous. These are the indicators that let you know when you’ve allowed yourself to be intrinsically pulled into your place of personal and professional peace.
Reflect and Reveal. At the end of each year, I would do an activity with my friends, and eventually with my coaching clients that I called Reflections and Revelations. This gave them the opportunity to look back at the year to celebrate what worked and learn from what didn’t. This practice prepared them for setting clear intentions for the year ahead. As an extension or modification of this activity, I invite you to write the titles Push and Pull at the top of two columns on a blank piece of paper. On the 'Push' side, write all the things that you felt forced into throughout the year. On the 'Pull' side, write all the things that you felt pulled or compelled to do by the guidance of your heart and soul.
As you look at each list side by side, what do you notice? How did the things you did, or didn’t do on either side make you feel? How often did you give into the push or resist the pull? What does this mean for how you want to move forward in the year ahead?
This week I challenge you to take some time to reflect on how much of what you are doing are things that you really want to be doing, and how much of it is what someone else has pushed you to do. Once you get clear on what you really want, I invite you to surrender to the power of the pull.
I am opening the designated doors to my destiny with ease.
I am allowing myself to be pulled in the direction of my heart and soul to peaceful places.
I am using reflection as a tool to reveal what I need to learn about myself to move forward.