The Thing Behind the Thing
Have you ever worked really hard for something, then when you get it, it doesn’t quite elicit the feelings you thought it would?
The more I seek to understand myself, the more I realize that what I think I want is just at the surface of a deeper underlying need or desire.
I’ve been working a lot less lately, and until I set up more automated systems where my business can run itself, this also means less income. During this time, an interesting thing has happened. I’ve been feeling happier. This is a direct result of freeing up more space to do what lights me up like reading voraciously, learning, connecting with loved ones, and being creative. Through this, I realized that my goals around wanting more money were not my actual goals. What I really wanted all along was more freedom and choice.
Think about something you want. What might be the deeper thing behind the surface thing? Perhaps it’s something relating to your physical appearance or ability. The underlying want maybe confidence, increased energy, or acceptance, and belonging, not only from others but also from yourself. If your desire is related to relationships, you might be seeking to align with your core value of connection or your love language of quality time.
It’s important to identify what's at the root, because in the incessant quest for the surface thing, the very thing we actually want, may elude us. Let’s take my example of money. When I was only focused on acquiring more as the goal, I went about it by working around the clock. When the money began to flow in, as a result, I found myself too exhausted to enjoy it. My time with loved ones was limited and my zest for the work soon morphed into resentment. I had exchanged the very things I wanted, freedom, time, and choice, for the surface thing, money.
There is another way.
You can have everything you want.
Here are a few simple strategies for shifting your mindset and belief around what is possible.
More Than Either Or – You don’t have to choose between money and freedom, you can have both and more. Think of ways such as automation, investing, or delegation where you can increase your income without always exchanging your hours for dollars. I’m taking my own advice and building an online course that will include all of the powerful activities that I do with my coaching clients. I will record the videos and create downloadable worksheets so that more people can guide themselves through the same experiences without me having to be there.
Value-Driven Tasks – My morning routine includes identifying my top three goals or priorities for the day. I’ve started to align each thing to my core values, Connection, Learning, and Creativity. If I make each of my priorities align with one or more of those values, that makes for the engineering of a great day! So, if you are looking for connection, security, or stability related to your physical appearance, relationships, or monetary goals, what other things might you engage in that fulfill those same needs?
The Fullness of Fulfillment – Fulfillment can mean many things. In business, it means receiving, packaging, and sending an order out. It can mean meeting a requirement or condition. It is also the achievement of something desired, promised, or predicted. In order to get what we want, we must be open to receive it, give it, and ultimately achieve it. Wrapped up in all of that is believing we deserve it, and being generous in giving the same, not only to others but to ourselves as well.
This week I challenge you to dig deep beneath the surface of the thing you spend the most time thinking about inviting into your life. How might you shift your approach to focusing on meeting the underlying need?
I am open to receive the desires of my heart.
I am fully fulfilled.
I am designing value-driven days.
Master Your Mindset to Manifest a Life You Love. Most Sincerely, Monica Marie Jones Your Soul Journey Guide